Psalm 27

I've driven to Canberra with my friend Titus for the Uniting Church's first songwriting gathering. Here's Andrew Dutney singing songs and talking about songwriting. Robin Mann has done the same. Wonderful. About 20 songwriters and about 10 helpers are present. I fit into both categories as I'm here to write songs and I've set up a recording studio for people to write their songs tomorrow, plus I'm happy to tell people that their lyrics are crap (just kidding, I'll be an encourager). You can bet that the recording gear won't work smoothly...

Mandolin and Uke right of picture. There are a varied bunch of people here from all over the country, including the amazing Fay White, David MacGregor (who is co-hosting it). Looking forward to meeting them all!

So tonight I looked ahead in the Lectionary and decided to work on a version of Psalm 27. Here's my work in progress - no tune yet. Anything might change....

Psalm 27

Be the light that shrouds the twilight
Be the might that holds our fears
Be the home that yearns our dwelling
Be the stone that takes our tears 

Christ, be our light
Whom shall we fear?
Deep in the night
Spirit, draw near

Be the cry that whispers mercy
Be the seeker when we hide
Be the taker and the giver
Be the pathway and the guide

Christ, be our light
Whom shall we fear?
Deep in the night
Spirit, draw near

Be the promise that restores us
Be the parent who is good
Be the sacrifice that breaks us
Be the shelter in the flood

Christ, be our light
Whom shall we fear?
Deep in the night
Spirit, draw near

(I had somemore edgy lyrics that I took out - like "Be the enemy who breaks us" and "Be the promise that unmakes us". What do you reckon?)

Comments

[Paul Chalson]

Hi Craig, looks good but "good" and "flood" don't rhyme in the Eastern States (not sure about the SA accent)- I like edgy lyrics though was unsure about "enemy" and have been unsuccessfully trying to come up with an alt. Also torn between the promise unmaking and restoring but kinda go for the unmaking. Anyeay, as I said, looks good -so sad not to be there

[margie goodluck]

Hi Craig,
your song sounds good....wat a wonderful event to be a part of....thanks for sharing your journey with us....

one suggestion I wish to offer for first line 3rd verse.......
"Be the promise that remakes us?"

Enjoy the rest of your visit to Canberra.

xx margie

[craigmitchell]

thanks, really helpful comments. Paul, surely you're not tied into such a tight kind of rhyming? I gave that up years ago. too few things rhyme with "ood"...

[Ian O'Reilly]

How about 'challenge' rather than 'enemy'? Or 'strength'?

[craigmitchell]

Final verse became...

Be the sacrifice that breaks us
Be the shelter in the flood
Be the promise that remakes us
Be the parent who is good

now to write a tune!