mountain masala

Service Planning

Today we went to our brother Andrew's church and met with his pastor and talked about his memorial service. Shane was great. I told him that the church reminded me of running monthly youth rallies at Wecker Rd for 2500+ people in the late 1980s. He knew the place well. Later I asked a couple of old friends to help us out with music on the day.

We went to Andrew's unit, mainly just to be there. For me, this brought his absence home more so than the cremation. I 'd stayed there several times, cooked for him a lot and helped him previously when we wasn't well following surgery. We discovered a few gems, and talked about what things of his to place at the service as memories of him.

Thanks to my parents, Andrew was a much travelled man. That's a whole story in itself. But his great love was music and I found the last CD he recently told me he'd bought - Vika and Linda Bull's greatest hits double album. That's going on the memorial table.

Back at Mum's I had a sleep because this exhausts me and I haven't been sleeping well.

I cooked for Mum for the second night in a row. [Two days ago I went grocery shopping for the week ahead. I had been in quarantine for 2 weeks so I went a bit crazy and bought fish heads on sale. I decided to make fish head soup for Anne and I. As you do. Of course, Mum was never going to eat it. The soup turned out to be very ordinary but I have an EPIC photo. Don't mention the eyeballs!]

For most of the evening I have been scanning old papers, including Andrew's adoption papers. The adoption fee in 1965 was 2 pounds 10p. Such a story represented by just a few pieces of paper.

Also old photos, including lots of early stuff from our parents and grandparents. My aunt had sent a photo of their paternal grandmother which is the first one I've ever seen of her. And much more photo epicness.

My good friend David lent me his guitar so that I have something to play during these next few days, as much for my hands as for my heart. Tomorrow brings service planning and talking about a most unique life.

Jan Richardson's words keep speaking to me deeply.

I've been away from Yvonne for 16 days with another 9 to go... sigh.

The Day After

Thanks for the many prayers and good wishes for the first part of farewelling our brother Andrew yesterday.

We had a small family gathering for his cremation that most of the immediate family were able to attend. I don't know what to say except that it was important and difficult stuff for us. I'm not going to go into details here. There were small and larger signs of grace and also some particular challenges in grieving.

We then visited the burial sites of our father and sister. Our brother's grave is elsewhere but of course he was remembered too. I spoke about the crowd of witnesses who surround us.

Most grateful for Brian lending me a decent scanner and I have been going through photo albums today. Of course, that brings its own landscape of emotions.

Tomorrow my sister and I meet with the pastor of our brother's church to plan the memorial service that will take place on the 29th.

We will also go to his unit to start to talk about his belongings.

Still a lot to work through and go through.

Hotel Quarantine - 19 August

 

Day #13 Eastern Quarantime Time. I spent an inordinate amount of time today sorting my things for my imminent release. I completed my Release Form and confirmed my departure details with the front desk. I paced the room most of the day in anticipation of departure.

 

For most of the day I have been conducting a triage consumption of what is in the Hotel Quarantino refrigerator. Perhaps as a result, I'm feeling a bit queasy ahead of tonight's meal delivery. The highlight of the desserts have been Golden North ice creams and today's lunchtime Balfour's Jam Donut.

 

A mercy package of CDs arrived from Ferg today! Steve's coffee has been simply heavenly. I booked a rooftop walk but when the officer arrived to escort me a couple of hours later I did not feel like going, so I made up a feeble excuse.

 

I washed my cloth mask but I may not even need it tomorrow. It would seem that Queenslanders think they are immune and could not care much about social distancing. This genuinely horrifies me.

Tomorrow is the cremation of our brother Andrew at a small gathering of immediate family. I offered to preside/host this brief time of prayer, sharing and Scripture. No pressure.

 

Today I sat and looked out the window a lot. I rewrote what I'll say tomorrow. I answered emails from the crematorium about the internment and plaques.

 

Science fiction and ambient music were a perfect contemplation. Thanks to the Buddhists for sharing their wisdom. To be honest, it's not always what I think or even need, but then neither is the book of Proverbs.

I'm most grateful for messages, phone calls and packages of support and comfort. The grief and bereavement journey is a draining, emotional roller coaster that doesn't get easier. We feel supported, prayed for and loved.

 

If you have read this far, thank you for sharing the journey. in case you didn't realise, my commentary has arisen from a combination of boredom, grief, and a desire to make a tongue-in-cheek reflection on the minor inconveniences of this brief, self-chosen quarantine. Yes, I decided to talk up my woes as a kind of 'letters from prison'. If you missed the humour, I apologise.

 

There are many people in COVID quarantine for whom life is terrible, and many who have been unjustly detained as refugees for years and months. Part of the point of my reflection was to highlight how petty my inconveniences are. Let's turn our hearts and actions to those for whom isolation is hell, and to changing the hearts and minds of those whose actions (or inactions) treat others as less that people of full human dignity and worth.

 

See you on the other side.

Hotel Quarantine - 18 August

Day #279 I now have a neighbour who has been talking loudly on the phone for most of the day. It's doing my head in.

Also, I tested negative for COVID-19.

Two sleeps to go!

 

Hotel Quarantine - 17 August

In quarantine, some words are taking on new meaning. These include "frittata", "ragout", "salad", "compote", and "menu". Also "warm" and "fresh".

Hotel Quarantine - 16 August

Day #123 Is time going backwards or forwards?

I stayed up late on the Binge-watching Bed completing Season 2 of The Man in the High Castle. It is based on the premise that the Germans and Japanese won World War II and are now competing for control of North America. Lots of soldiers and military stuff, resistance groups, espionage, and a couple of medical sub-plots. I went to bed extremely late.

I was awoken in the morning by a loud knocking on the door - not the usual "your meal is outside" tap. I staggered to the door in my pyjamas and opened it.

I was confronted by an army officer and two people in full protective clothing, including helmet things with clear full masks. "We're here for your swab.

They sat me in a chair facing away from them. The man checked my identity. The woman stuck the probe down my throat and up my nose.

It was a much worse experience than last time. I knew this was coming, but I did not know when.

I was unable to go back to sleep.

Hotel Quarantine - 15 August

Day #327. I have divided the room into separate spaces - one for eating, one for reading, one for writing, as well as, of course, the bathroom (which also serves as a laundry) and the Binge-Watching Bed. This helps my mental acuity.

The walks on the roof accompanied by guards are such a relief - fresh air! sky! Although some days I have such a listlessness that I barely move from the bed.

I have completed my memoir and the Quarantine Symphony is well underway. I'm still unsure how many movements it will have.

Speaking of movements, the food isn't great, but I seek to be grateful for all things. I got a banana for the first time today. There are many less fortunate in the world. The Aeropress brings me no small degree of comfort. Friends and family have been very kind, sending messages and smuggling in parcels.

I would like to say that there is a camaraderie among those interred here, however I only see others on the occasional exercise outings, and I fear that we are much changed since our arrival. Well, I know I have changed most days. But sometimes I run out of clothes.

The guards are generally kind, and if not, at least silent.

I have heard a scratching on the wall and wonder if it is another resident or rodents.

I keep telling myself that it won't be long now.

Oh well, time to run another room-lap half marathon.

C'est la vie.

Hotel Quarantine - 14 August

Celebrating the half-way point of quarantine with new linen and isolation wisdom...

Hotel Quarantine - 12 August

Today's piece of wisdom is presented to you courtesy of Hotel Quarantino catering.

Hotel Quarantine - 11 August

Today’s encouragement from the little book of wisdom. In other news, two dinners were delivered yesterday. It’s clothes washing day and I have repurposed the room’s plastic bin. So glad I brought the Aeropress and freshly ground coffee. The fire alarm went off at 6 am but was a false alarm. Today I’m going to start to finish the cross stitch that I started in 1987. Jan Richardson’s words are a gift beyond measure. I’m loving the new Umbrella Academy and The Man in the High Castle is good. And there are arrangements to be made. Thanks for your many many messages and prayers. Feeling supported from afar.